I was texting my friend the other day and he was telling me a story that was not meant to be crazy. And it was just many paragraphs, it was really long. During all this I was not really saying anything just listening to what he had to say. And at the end he asked me if I was listening because I had not said anything to him.
Now if I were in person while he was telling me this story, he would see the eye contact and know that I was actually listening and concerned about what was going on. In the text I was giving him really short responses. He thought that I was not interested in his story which changed his whole mood about the conversation. He actually got mad at me for not showing sympathy to a serious issue.
Another issue was that my friend was telling me that he could not make it to my game this week. I replied “wow ok” and I do not think that he understood that I was actually mad at him. He thought that I was just saying ok that is the way it is going to be and that I did not mind. When we continued to talk, he was talking like nothing happened before that and when I was trying to show that I was mad he did not get the picture. I had to actually call him and tell him that I was annoyed he was not going. He has been my best friend for a long time and he kept telling me he was going to come to the game then all of the sudden he was not. If I was in person he would know that I was mad right away, but with technology he really did not know.
Using technology is easier but at the same time it can be difficult to read some ones feelings or know exactly what they are talking about. Sometimes in texts messages or other ways of communicating online people does not get interpreted in the way you wanted to. And also other words can express different things; it is actually like a foreign language to others if you think about it. Talking on the phone or face-to-face you get some type of feel for the person. You just have a better understanding of how the person feels in a certain situation or learn more about them by their tone of voice. Most of the people I was talking to about this class said that they would prefer to talk on the phone or face-to-face then on text message because sometimes it can be difficult to talk to some one. They said if some one does not respond for awhile they tend to think that you do not want to talk to them but in fact they are actually been busy. So actually with all this new technology most people feel comfortable actually talking to people face-to-face because it is simple to read someone or it could be hard for some of them to be fake.
March 4, 2009 at 10:45 pm
That is a bummer that your buddy let you down. You might want to use a sad face like
in the future if that helps him get the point. I agree that text is not enough to get a read on another person. You bring up a great point when you bring up the importance of facial expressions and tone of voice. Technology can definitely complicate things instead of simplify in certain cases. Take it to the Bruins tomorrow!
March 6, 2009 at 4:45 am
Just checking.
March 6, 2009 at 6:25 am
I like this blog entry as I feel I can definitely relate to your opinion on how people do not seem to fully understand hints and emotions through text messages. I can relate to your expressing your frustration to your friend about missing your game because I have recently had the same interaction with my boyfriend. Last Friday he had said he would be able to pick me up at 5pm after I had finished golf practice being he had dropped me off four hours before. (I have been experiencing medical issues so I have been told to limit my driving and have others drive me when possible.) So when 4:45 rolled around I texted him to let him know I was ready for him and would be waiting at the club house for him. He texted me saying he was going to be late because he was finishing sending a paper that was due at five and he would not be able to get me until 5:15. I replied, “Ok…” I understood that his homework comes first, but also annoyed that he had not sent it off until it was time to pick me up, especially when he was almost finished with it before he dropped me off. I was hoping he would send me a message saying he was sorry that he was unable to be there on time, but he didn’t. He did not seem to understand I was upset, much like your friend. However, when he picked me up he graciously apologized and said how his computer shut off at 3:30 and he lost his document and had to start over. I felt bad for him and understood that things happen, but feel that if we were able to speak face-to-face he would have understood my frustration and informed me of the story in more detail; allowing me not to get so upset when such a freak thing happens. I feel your friend would also have been able to realize you were upset and been able to explain further why he could not come to your game. If he did not have a good reason, maybe he would have changed his plans and made more of an effort to watch his best friend play knowing it meant so much to you. I enjoy Postman’s claim, “What matters is how people behave in situations where their behavior makes a difference in their lives (in this case our lives)” (152). I believe if your friend would have known how much you depended and wanted him to be there during or after your game he would have altered his plans knowing it would make a difference in your feelings; your life.